Today I had my meeting with my priest and gave my confession and was anointed. Even though I know it I am always amazed at the peace the sacraments bring with them. I thank God for loving me when I am feeling so unlovable.
What today did not do was wipe out the suicidal thoughts. My brain is still constantly turning with the plan and the hatred of myself. For now I am peaceful. God's grace is holding the thoughts in a sort of balance so they are not spinning out of control. It is sort of like my depression car is driving in town instead of screaming down the highway like it has been.
I feel hopeful that I will be able to accept and take in the help I will be given at the hospital.
God Bless all who read this.
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