To speak or not to speak

Today I had a couple of occasions for which I had to decide whether to comment or stay silent. The first was online. Someone made an unkind jest about a picture of my children. I leap to Mama Bear in 0 seconds flat when my kids are involved. So I responded. Then a dear friend reminded me that some people are not worth talking to because they will never listen because they choose not to listen. So I went back and deleted my post. I still feel dumb for having taken the bait. But they're my babies and NO ONE should ever speak even potentially ill of them let alone actually. My ego gets the better of me often.

The second time was in discussing my best friend's parenting choices. I think she is too permissive with her daughter and she knows it. I waver between leaving it at the fact that she knows I am more conservative than she and therefore disagree or speaking up because what kind of friend says nothing when you are hurting yourself or your children? I sort of decided item by item tonight. I think I balanced it well. In the end, she's the mom and she is more permissive than I would be. And she is a loving mom.

I have been told that being a loving mom makes up for a lot of mistakes. How many though, I wonder? (This is no longer about my best friend, by the way, her mistakes aren't huge enough.) If you are making huge mistakes or innumerable mistakes, can you really call yourself a loving parent? If you really loved your kids, wouldn 't you educate yourself or restrain yourself or put in the effort necessary to NOT make so many or such big mistakes?

Sometimes I think I am a terrible mother. Sometimes I am a terrible mother. I adore my children but I am very volatile. And while I have always believed that blowing up and then getting over things is more productive than staying calm and brooding, I wonder if this cycle is too much for my kids or if it is just normal for them. Does it help for them to always know what I think and feel and mean or would it be better for them to not be as sure because my mood never changes. I know I will never get to a place where I am calm always, but I think I need to find more of a balance than I have now. Dr Guarendi's book has really helped. It all seems so common sense but his advice is so practicable versus the generalities of so much advice that I just love it.

By the way, since we are still getting to know each other, I have the greatest kids in the world. I know, just like every other mother :) They make me smile just to think about them. I thank God for them, every day.

God Bless all who read this.