5 out of 4

Well, today has been a bit bipolar. I wasn't. My day was. I was expecting today to be a blah low day thus the expectation that it would be a 4 out of 10. A slap fight and a broken foot saved it and bumped it up to a 5.

I woke up late so we didn't get to get the tree today like I planned which was a bummer. Not as much of a bummer as it should have been though. Luckily I woke up and found some lovely supportive emails in my inbox.

I am still extremely irritable. My poor kids, I try to hold my temper but they seem to think that because I am here they all three should be talking to at the same time at all times. Snapping ensued.

Then the big low hit. My boss called and needed me to do a bunch of stuff for her so she can have an accounting company do part of my job while I am off. She is still very short and business-like with me. It made me cry which just made her irritated. So that was a big ugly low. I feel so guilty for the trouble I am causing her. I am very afraid she is not going to enjoy the trip to New York she is taking this week because she is going to have to be in constant contact with the office. I am one of THOSE employees and it is driving me nuts.

And it is so my fault because I have been falling apart for more than a year. I new I was falling apart but instead of asking for help I just kept fighting trying to keep it together by myself. This is true both personally and professionally.

Then I had what I thought was going to be a low be a sort of mixed blessing. My Mama broke her foot. Because of her RA and her meds every major injury is a big concern. Praise the Lord she didn't need surgery. They reset it and booted it. She can walk with the boot but will be off for a month. She is not even in a great deal of pain since she is on pain meds always anyway. So now, while I am off work for a month, my Mama is off work for a month. That right there is a blessing.

So I thought the day would end at the four I expected. Then this evening it got salvaged by candy cane reindeer and a game of Pictionary. Both were the pleasure/nightmare combo that all projects with my three kids are. But the multiple high fives that morphed into a (play) slap fight is what bumped the day up a notch. All three of my kids giggling like crazy (no pun intended) is one of my favorite sounds in the world. Everyone keeps telling me, and I keep hanging desperately onto, the fact I adore my children. I'm going to try to replay that moment in my head when I start to get down tomorrow.

I am going to predict an optimistic 5 again for tomorrow.

God Bless all who read this.